Lick The Nation!

What up sex fiends?

I was gonna try and post something the other day but I got distracted due to me being out awesoming all over everything.

Anyway, I'll leave you with a short one today. I have another task for you boys and girls. This is one that I too will be participating in.

I want you to LICK the Top 10 Scottish monuments. Naturally I'll list them below. This will be an act of unfailing patriotism and will require nerves of steel, the brains of a cougar, and the reflexes of Bruce Lee.

1. First up, of course, we have to have the National Wallace Monument. This monument to one of the greatest ever Scotsmen, Sir William Wallace stands 220 feet high, near the site of the Battle of Stirling. The spiral staircase leads right to the top where you shall lick the hell out of it to show your national pride.
2. Next up we have a monument to another great Scot. In fact, Sir Walter Scott, Creator of such literary works as Rob Roy and Ivanhoe. £3 gets you entry to the monument where you should then climb the 287 stairs to the very top, and where teetering on the very edge of the great Edinburgh Spire, you lick that bad boy good.
3. Next another Edinburgh monument, dedicated to Admiral Lord Nelson for his victory in the battle of Trafalgar. this giant profile is based on Nelson's giant penis, with which he actually won the battle. You can of course climb to the top of this large erection and you will have to lick that bad boy like there's no tomorrow, Lord Nelson would expect nothing less.
4. To Bannockburn now to commemorate a legend, and his legendary victory of the English tyrants. Robert the Bruce, led a vastly outnumbered Scottish army to defeat the English in 1314. Needless to say this man was frickin' awesome so get up close and lick his salty plaque.
5. The monument to the Duke of Wellington, resides on Queen Street, in Glasgow city centre. (Yeah the dude on the horse with the traffic cone hat). This is an awesome statue so it definitely deserves a hearty lick. Climb right up on that bad boy and lick his shiny boots! Just watch out for the Polis! :)
6. We've had him before but Apparently Ivanhoe is a real good read so Sir Walter Scott is back for the second time on my Top 10 lickable Scottish monuments. This time he's hiding atop of a giant column in the middle of George Square, again in Glasgow city centre. Unless you can find a rope and can climb up to the man himself, giving the plaque on his base a lick will do just as well. But extra awesome points if you can get the top very top.
7. Next we move to the Royal Concert Hall on Buchanan Street. At the bottom of the steps is a statue to the late Donald Dewar. He's a bronzed, old, dead politician so climb right up on him and lick him in his big bronze face.
8. Again in Glasgow, this time we're just outside central station. The statue of the fireman/alien invader. You gotta give his masked face a lick, because lets be honest, he's pretty awesome too.
9. Any part of Hadrian's Wall. If we can keep the Romans out we must be a pretty awesome country. Just get up and lick it all over kids!
10. Finally, last but not least! This is a risky one. Security is tight but its worth it for one of Scotland's greatest relics. I'm talking about the Stone of Destiny kids. It now resides in Edinburgh Castle. Of course as it sits inside a giant bullet proof glass case, the closest your gonna get to licking it without getting done for treason is licking the glass. But like i said, Watch the security, pick your timing and give that glass casing a big tongue smear!

And there we have it for my Top 10 lickable Scottish monuments. If possible kids, get some pictures of you licking each monument and send them to chrisn97@hotmail.com. Special prizes will be awarded for all 10 completed licks.

We do not take any responsibility for any deaths and or prison time received while in pursuit of licking these national treasures. Good luck!